The Xenophobe's Guide to The Swedes [antikvár]

Nationalism and Identity ForewarnedThe Swedes think it entirely appropriate that the cartographer Mercator magnanimously drew Sweden roughly the size of Africa. They object to being lumped in with other Scandinavians, as if they had no identity of their own.From a Swedish perspective the differences between the Scandinavian countries are stark. Denmark is horizontal, Norway is vertical, Finland is labyrinthian, and Sweden is stunningly pastoral.There is also the language difference. Every Finnish sentence starts in falsetto and ends in baritone. Norwegian sounds like Finnish intoned backwards but is actually a provincial Swedish dialect. The Danes with their diphthongs, glottal stops and dental fricatives sound as if they are caught between swallowing and spitting out a very hot potato. Only the Swedish language has evolved from grunted Icelandic gobbledygook to become the familiar and beloved orgy-borgy of The Muppet Show.The contrasts in national culture and character are equally glaring. The Norwegians are simple, plain-spoken folk, the Danes cheerful and fun-loving. The Finns are a brooding, taciturn lot whose mosquito bites occasionally make them holler and gyrate in what the guidebooks mistakenly call folk dancing. The Swedes seriously consider that by being hilarious like the Danes, outspoken like the Norwegians and philosophical like the Finns, they combine the best of Scandinavian qualities.Swedes are always surprised to discover that foreigners do not keep a framed map of Sweden above their beds. They are amazed to encounter people who think the capital of Sweden is Oslo, or that Sweden is the home of Swiss watches. Such manifestations of ignorance can only be