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IntroductionRichard Hayward, the great teller of Ulster stories,once wrote that such was the fragile nature of NorthernIrish wit that it died when written down. In this smallcollection of Ulster jokes I have tried to keep life ineach onethough it must be admitted that much of theflavour imparted to them by dialect is lost in translation.If the reader should wonder at the large proportionof jokes about rivalry between Protestants and Catholicshe should be assured that the periodic outbursts ofviolence between the factions are as limited in scope asthe minds of the extremists who cause them. Bothdenominations have a large capacity for self-derision:hence the 'Prod-Catholic' wisecracks.I have no doubt that many of my fellow-Ulstermenwill object to the title of this book. 'Best Ulster Jokes,indeedsure, I could do better with one hand tiedbehind my back', I can hear them say. I can only replythat if they know better ones, they should send them