The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole [antikvár]

Sunday April 4th My father has sent a telegram to the War Office. He wants to take part in the war with Argentina. His telegram read: My mother says that my father will do anything to avoid working for Manpower Services as a canal bank renovator. At tea-time I was looking at our world map, but I couldn't see the Falkland Islands anvwhere. My mother found them; they • I ' : f. qualified heating engineer stop ai fitness | stop offers himself in the service of his . ' ¦ ' ¦ , ' ,i ; country stop ready for immediate . , mobilization ; ! i I' I ¦ - were hidden under a crumb of fruitcake. I feel guilty about mentioning a personal anguish at this time ¦ ; of national crisis, but ever since last night when a model i; aeroplane became stuck fast to my nose with glue, I have • ^ , suffered torment. My nose has swollen up so much that I am ' - ' frantic with worry that it might burst and take my brain with it. » ' I rang the Casualty Department and, after a lot of laughing, . i: the nurse who removed the plane came on the line. She said ]. •, that I was 'probably allergic to the glue', and that the swelling ' ', ' would go down in a few days. She added, 'Perhaps it will teach V ' you not to sniff glue again.'I tried to explain but she put the phone down. ': Pandora has been round but I declined to see her. She would ,; ¦ go straight off me if she saw my repulsive nose. / ^ 1 ; ' ' Monday April 5th Just my luck! It is the first day of the school holidays and I can't go out because of my gigantic swollen nose. Even my mother is i/. , .1 a bit worried about it now. She wanted to prick it with a , i sterilized needle, but I wouldn't let her. She can't sew an ¦ ; : | , accurate patch on a pair of jeans with a needle, let alone do ' ! , , , j ' 1' delicate medical procedures with one. I've begged her to take j' m' y me to a private nose specialist, but she has refused. She says j l i ,| ¦ she needs the money for her 'Well Woman' test. She is having 'jifj ^i,¦ i ^'f ilM ) ife